he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
