dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
