We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
