I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
