A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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