Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
