Porn is love you can see.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
