Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
