apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We got so high we made milksteak
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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