I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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