Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
