I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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