I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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