Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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