Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize