Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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