Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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