shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
