woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
