Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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