I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
