He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
