So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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