i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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