She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
