So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
