In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
