Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
