I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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