did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
