You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
