yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
