U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
