I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
