Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
