So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
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