dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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