She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just found puke in my bra..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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