i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
