I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
