The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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