I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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