im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
