I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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