Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he thought i was a dude.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize