We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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