Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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