sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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