So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
No subtext here. People are naked.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
