just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
