Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
