I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I cockslap morals
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
