The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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