She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
