I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
