This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
