2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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